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Things that are Round
Jun. 29th, 2006 03:51 amIt was 90 years ago Saturday that the Battle of the Somme began.
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The famed Giant Soccer Ball of Columbus. Put up in happier days several weeks ago, when we were going to send our mighty Hedge Duck forth to help vanquish the foreigners.
Pride Parade Pens. I like the round pens, in their round buckets, beside the round wheel.
The Art Car. That's what the placard identified it as. He had little clusters of statuary all over it. This is the one above the rear window. It's got real candles and incense.
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The Giant Weasel has a liberal guilt section. That's not what they call it, but that's what it is. There you can get things like undersized, bug-eaten vegetables, or ordinary coffee that costs a fortune so you don't have to feel guilty for being richer than a coffee-picker, or dingy-looking household products made from recycled materials. One of the things they sell is recycled toilet paper. It looks recycled. It's a dreary off-grey, and looks like something they'd use in a prison to cut costs. Except, of course, being a liberal guilt product, it costs about twice as much as normal toilet paper.
I think the high price is honestly part of the attraction. If it were just a plain inferior product at a lesser price, then poor people might buy it too, and that'd blur the line over whether it was being bought to make a statement, or from plain cheapness.
Anyway, I was thinking: what if there were a sort of teflon paint that you could apply to your butthole? Nothing would stick, and you'd not need toilet paper at all. That would save even more trees! A non-stick buttcrack would also solve the problem of gymnasts' wedgies.
*****
The famed Giant Soccer Ball of Columbus. Put up in happier days several weeks ago, when we were going to send our mighty Hedge Duck forth to help vanquish the foreigners.
Pride Parade Pens. I like the round pens, in their round buckets, beside the round wheel.
The Art Car. That's what the placard identified it as. He had little clusters of statuary all over it. This is the one above the rear window. It's got real candles and incense.*****
The Giant Weasel has a liberal guilt section. That's not what they call it, but that's what it is. There you can get things like undersized, bug-eaten vegetables, or ordinary coffee that costs a fortune so you don't have to feel guilty for being richer than a coffee-picker, or dingy-looking household products made from recycled materials. One of the things they sell is recycled toilet paper. It looks recycled. It's a dreary off-grey, and looks like something they'd use in a prison to cut costs. Except, of course, being a liberal guilt product, it costs about twice as much as normal toilet paper.
I think the high price is honestly part of the attraction. If it were just a plain inferior product at a lesser price, then poor people might buy it too, and that'd blur the line over whether it was being bought to make a statement, or from plain cheapness.
Anyway, I was thinking: what if there were a sort of teflon paint that you could apply to your butthole? Nothing would stick, and you'd not need toilet paper at all. That would save even more trees! A non-stick buttcrack would also solve the problem of gymnasts' wedgies.
