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Comrade Robot
Nov. 30th, 2006 05:56 amI wonder how much longer Castro will last?
*****
Fidel sat at his desk, filling out paperwork. 90% of being a dictator seemed to be paperwork. The "Be a Dictator!" ad on the matchbook cover had made the job sound much more exciting.
There was a cursory knock, and the double doors of his office swung open to reveal a ten foot tall robot looming in the entryway. He was made of steel, massive and rivet-studded and only slightly rusty, with lightbulb eyes and a large, brightly enamelled Cuban flag affixed to his chest. Fidel concealed his annoyance at the interruption, and smiled graciously. "How may I help you, Comrade Robot?"
Wordlessly, the robot grasped the edge of the enamelled flag, and in one sudden motion ripped it from his chest to reveal the CIA logo. Fidel bit through his cigar, and spat out the stub. "Caramba!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide with horror. He dove for the floor as the robot pointed a finger at him, bellowing in a mechanical voice "Now... You... Die... Fidel... Castro..."
The laser beam flashed over Fidel's head, and blew out the back wall of the office. People out in the street paused in amazement at the sudden eruption of bricks and dust, then scattered, screaming. The CIA was trying to assassinate Fidel again, and as always, bystanders were at the greatest risk...
*****
The weather's still quite nice here, although it should soon turn colder.
*****
I'm having Campbell's Chicken Gumbo for lunch. It's amazingly good for canned soup. My grandmother used to like it when I was little, although it wasn't to my taste at the time. I always thought 'gumbo' was a cool name for something, though.
*****
I should make crawdad etouffe this weekend. I've not had that in forever. This is one of the few places I've lived where you can buy crawdads at the store. It's not quite the same as fishing them out from their castles with bacon on a string, but it's much more convenient.
*****
The President did the Turkey Pardoning Ritual again this year, which is sort of lame. I'm sure he marches his butt right back inside, and eats a different one. I'd like to see him chop the National Turkey's head off on the front lawn of the White House with George Washington's hatchet, then proclaim National Turkey Massacre Day. We could dress the National Turkey in a little turban and beard, and name him "Osama".
*****
You never really hear 'turkey' used as an insult anymore.
*****
Fidel sat at his desk, filling out paperwork. 90% of being a dictator seemed to be paperwork. The "Be a Dictator!" ad on the matchbook cover had made the job sound much more exciting.
There was a cursory knock, and the double doors of his office swung open to reveal a ten foot tall robot looming in the entryway. He was made of steel, massive and rivet-studded and only slightly rusty, with lightbulb eyes and a large, brightly enamelled Cuban flag affixed to his chest. Fidel concealed his annoyance at the interruption, and smiled graciously. "How may I help you, Comrade Robot?"
Wordlessly, the robot grasped the edge of the enamelled flag, and in one sudden motion ripped it from his chest to reveal the CIA logo. Fidel bit through his cigar, and spat out the stub. "Caramba!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide with horror. He dove for the floor as the robot pointed a finger at him, bellowing in a mechanical voice "Now... You... Die... Fidel... Castro..."
The laser beam flashed over Fidel's head, and blew out the back wall of the office. People out in the street paused in amazement at the sudden eruption of bricks and dust, then scattered, screaming. The CIA was trying to assassinate Fidel again, and as always, bystanders were at the greatest risk...
*****
The weather's still quite nice here, although it should soon turn colder.
*****
I'm having Campbell's Chicken Gumbo for lunch. It's amazingly good for canned soup. My grandmother used to like it when I was little, although it wasn't to my taste at the time. I always thought 'gumbo' was a cool name for something, though.
*****
I should make crawdad etouffe this weekend. I've not had that in forever. This is one of the few places I've lived where you can buy crawdads at the store. It's not quite the same as fishing them out from their castles with bacon on a string, but it's much more convenient.
*****
The President did the Turkey Pardoning Ritual again this year, which is sort of lame. I'm sure he marches his butt right back inside, and eats a different one. I'd like to see him chop the National Turkey's head off on the front lawn of the White House with George Washington's hatchet, then proclaim National Turkey Massacre Day. We could dress the National Turkey in a little turban and beard, and name him "Osama".
*****
You never really hear 'turkey' used as an insult anymore.
